"Last night I had a dream that Ryan Gosling and I were breaking up and as a result, he had to move out of my house. Well, Ryan Gosling has a lot of hanging clothes. So I packed all of them up and moved them to the far away location for him. (I don’t know why. Maybe I needed the closet space.)
"A friend who I suspect was Summer was helping me at the undisclosed far away location to hang up all of the hundreds of identical garment bags. When we finished we decided to stalk him at the restaurant where we knew he’d be dining out with his new lady.
"My friend informed me that I had nothing to be afraid of, that we would just show up, be fabulous, tell him where we left all of his clothes and make him regret his bad bad decision.
"The new girl was gross! She had on silk tight printed pants and a matching bare midriff top that tied at the waist. My friend convinced me to go right up to them and introduce myself. Why should I be ashamed? So we did, and by then the girl was sitting on my ex-boyfriend Ryan Gosling’s lap! With her half-ponytailed, frizzed-out hair and bad makeup. I could not believe he left ME for HER. I looked at Ryan Gosling, and motioned towards her with my eyes and said,